He Had Trouble Closing His Pen

There's been a lot of crazy heavy Trump screw ups during his first week in office. And there are new ones I could tell you about today. But in an effort to help us all keep our sanity, I offer a bit of humor instead. You see, it seems Donald Trump had some trouble recently closing his pen during one ...

He Helped Move Us 30 Seconds Closer To Armageddon

(Credit: SDASM Archives, Flickr Creative Commons) Just take a second to let the ridiculousness of that headline sink in. Bear in mind it's not click bait. Thanks in no small part to the utter instability of Donald Trump and the fact that he now has the power to unleash America's nuclear arsenal whenever the wrong person criticizes him ...

He Endorsed Torture – Again

(Credit: Twitter screengrab, @hrw) Sen. John McCain is a man who knows a thing or two about torture. Because he experienced it firsthand for 5 1/2 years as a POW during the Vietnam War. Along with the Senate Intelligence Committee, he's been vehement that torture does not work and should not be practiced by the United States even if ...

He Declared Millions Of People Voted Illegally Against Him – Again

(Credit: Twitter screengrab, @huffingtonpost) Yesterday, we learned that "alternative facts" are now a thing. Today, we can add to that list "alternative studies" and "alternative evidence." Although, Press Secretary Sean Spicer didn't use those exact words, probably because the more accurate term would be "no studies" and "no evidence." Once again, even though he is now officially the President ...

He Brought Along His Own Laugh Track To The CIA

(Credit: Twitter screengrab, @USRealityCheck) So, technically this happened yesterday, but I wanted to wait for it to be confirmed before sharing because, you know, journalistic standards and what not. Anywho, yesterday while pitching his alternative facts to the CIA, Donald brought a few - PAID, I can't emphasize how important it is to remember these staffers are effectively being ...

He Forgot He Had A Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS

(Credit: Twitter screen grab, @PeterAlexander) Remembering stuff is hard. Especially when you're the President of the United States of you've got all kinds of things going through your mind all the time like, "What did Rosie O'Donnell say about me on Twitter today?" or "Do we have the new alternative facts & figures in yet for my ...

He Became President

(Credit: Gage Skidmore, Flickr Creative Commons) Today, Donald Jackass Trump (that's what the "J" stands for, right?) officially - and depressingly - became the 45th President of the United States. The ironic thing is he never really wanted to be President in the first place. Like most things in his life, it was an offensive publicity stunt. Except ...